Confessions of a girls night out…The issues we just can’t avoid

It’s a repetitive cycle and for some a weekly occurrence. Any intoxicated female (including myself) will tell you from personal experience that we go through a number of different emotions, thought processes and situations all in the space of a single night. We at XclusiveTouch are not just about producing epic events but we like to educate our party-goers and hopefully advise on what to expect on a night out, so here you go…

Getting Ready Is A Delicate Process For A Big Night Out
For a girl, getting ready is a mission in itself and can easily put you off going out altogether. But nothing comes even close to when it’s time to approach the dreaded eyebrows and winged eyeliner. The saying ‘they’re not twins, they’re sisters’ doesn’t even apply. They’re more like third cousins!

There Is Always One Girl Who Is Running Late And Will Meet You There
When a girl says she’s running 5 minutes late, that is a blatant lie and 5 minutes actually means 47! I wouldn’t even bother trying to stall the cab, half your party is already drunk and you’re wasting valuable partying time and you can meet her there.

Bathroom Girl Gangs – Can Go One Of Two Ways
You’ve had a few too many drinks and you’re feeling overly sassy. When bumping into another girl gang in the toilets, this can go one of two ways…’Oh my god, I love you dress, where did you get it?’ or the exchange of dirty looks.

Toilet Break – How Many Can You Cram Into A Cubicle
Females travel in packs. Fact. So when it comes time for a toilet break, not only do they have to go together but somehow start a Rubik’s cube puzzle trying to fit as many into one cubicle as possible and then alternate for loo access.

The Bathroom Selfie
No night is complete without a toilet selfie, accompanied by the typical caption ‘standard toilet selfie’ or ‘obligatory toilet selfie’ when in actual fact there is absolutely no law that says this is an obligation on a night out. The last thing we want to see on Instagram is a skidmark toilet as your backdrop.

Reapplying Make-up At This Stage Proves Difficult
On your way out you’ll catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and genuinely question if your friends are really your friends if they let you out in public with panda eyes and smeared lipstick up your cheek. Good luck trying to reapply with your beer goggles on.

Someone Will Cry And Drunk Dial Their Ex
The alcohol takes over, emotions run high and there is ALWAYS that one girl who ended up crying in the corner at the end of a night out over a failed relationship. This then, of course, leads to a drunk text which even she won’t understand the next morning.

Wardrobe Malfunctions
On a night out, this is unavoidable and the odd nip slip WILL occur and definitely a flashing of the knickers.

Binge Eating
In our opinion, a night out and binge eating go hand in hand. At the end of the night, you just have to eat that greasy kebab, chips AND chicken burger or just anything you can get your hands on.

And there you have it, 9 issues every London girl can relate to on a night out and ladies, if you can’t admit to at least 1 of these, then you’re in serious denial.

 

 

8 Issues of a Night Out

Don’t get us wrong, we all love a good night out and the wicked hangover the next morning is always a sign that you did well kid. However, there are always minor issues which occur on a night out that make you wish you’d sat this one out and had a Netflix and chill with your dog.

The Confrontation

There’s always that one cocky douche who gives it the biggen’ to the bouncer in order to get into the club. Mate pipe down, all he did was ask for your I.D.

Drunk AF

You know. They know. You’re all pissed and your night out may be ending sooner than you expected. It’s now mission impossible with a high chance of failing but you have to somehow give an award winning performance in acting sober, or at least enough to get past the gatekeeper. Stand up straight, pace yourself and try not to look like Bambi on ice and whatever you do, just keep your mouth shut….who knows what will come out.

The Rejection Of The Barman

We’re all thinking it, he could have at least got to know you before he rejected you.

The Sophie’s Choice of Tipping The Toilet Attendant

You feel a pair of eyes on the back of your head and out of nowhere the toilet attendant is handing you a tissue. You take your time as you try and figure out whether or not to tip them. Eventually, you decide against it and now you can’t go back there. Good luck, you’ve already broken the seal.

Lack Of Air? Rule Number 1 Of Survival On A Night Out!

When you get to that stage on a night out and you’re not even sure how to use your motor skills and are just generally fed up and barge everyone out of the way. It’s not being rude, it’s just rule number 1 of survival in a crowded club, obviously.

Whatever Happened To The Waltz

Maybe you’ve witnessed this, maybe you haven’t, but it reaches a time in the night when I feel as though certain individuals who are out on the pull fear they’ll be going home alone. As a solution to this, they grab the closest person to them and start performing some rather provocative moves, in particular, grinding. Well if you can’t beat ‘em…

Clean Up On Aisle Cleavage

Without fail, this always happens to me on a night out! Someone spills their drink or worse your drink all over you and you have to use every fibre of your being and resist the urge to punch them square in the face. Simply give them a dirty look which is a silent f*ck you and walk away.

When The Lights Come Up

Enough said.

And there you have it, 8 issues which will always occur on a night out and IF they don’t, then it clearly wasn’t a good night.

 

The 7 Types Of People You Just Can’t Avoid At A House Party

There ain’t no party like a house partaaay! We’re about to touchdown this Saturday at SiNK Shoreditch for the launch of Noel’s House Party. And of course, with a house party comes an array of interesting individuals you will almost always encounter and we’ve listed them for you.

1. The Woman On A Mission

She must weigh up her options and be strategic about her positioning. When all else fails, stumble into as many guys as possible until one takes the bait or is too intoxicated to realise what is happening. You have to admire the determination.

2. The House Party Photobomber

We all know that guy who is still stuck in his secondary school humour and photobombs sweet images of a couple’s PDA. It’s all good, we class him as a hero.

3. The Break-Up Couple

Accusations fly across the room as well as drinks in the face. Insecurities + Alcohol = Disaster. Steer clear of raging couples and take cover.

4. The Couples Eating Each Other’s Faces

Enough said. Get a room.

5. The ‘Peaked Too Soon’ Party Goer

That one who arrived an hour early and got a bit too wavey during pres. Now all the action is happening, and they have their head in a toilet. We’ve all been there.

6. The Loner

When you’re left evaluating your life choices after your friends have all pulled and you can’t afford to get an uber home alone.

7. Instagram Qweeeens

There is ALWAYS that group whose priority is their pictures for Instagram the morning after than actually having a good time.

And after being equipped with all this knowledge and crucial information, we’re still taking the plunge and ready to pull off the biggest party you’ll ever experience.

5 Rules To Live By To Survive The Office Christmas Party

With the Christmas Season looming and Christmas cheer spreading, we can all get caught up in the excitement. Christmas only comes once a year and it’s accompanied by its friend…the dreaded Christmas Party!
We’ve all been there, done that and if you want to survive and keep your job intact you will need to follow these 5 simple steps and create a Christmas miracle by returning to the office in the New Year.

1. Avoid Shots 

It’s the Xmas party so it’s silly to suggest you shouldn’t drink…but please for the love of God avoid the shots! Alcohol can make us do some crazy things, but that’s exactly what they are…crazy things! Don’t drink kids, well just don’t drink too much.

2. Don’t fall in drunk office love – That awkward moment when they don’t know who you are…

When declaring your love for someone there is an extremely high chance that you’ll get the response ‘do I know you’. Not to mention you’ll have the awkward next day encounter, and of course the gossip and laughter at your expense. This is just a rule in life. Live by it.

3. Avoid sharing every last detail of your past 

These are your work colleagues, not your life long besties! Don’t share your drunken stories you’ve spent all year hiding. Don’t get us wrong we all love a good drunken story but everyone will remember and probably hold it against you. Also, there are certain things we just don’t need to hear.

4. Don’t push the Secret Santa too far 

It may seem funny at the time but truth be told it probably isn’t. Don’t give inappropriate gifts. Just don’t. I’m sure we can all make up our own minds as to what constitutes an inappropriate gift, but just in case you’re not sure, here are a few examples:

– The painful truth is that anything you find funny probably isn’t

– Anything of a sexual nature for your friends…go for it. For work colleagues, not so much.

5. No dirty dance moves!

This is 20% for your benefit and 80% for ours! You don’t need to do it and we don’t need to see it. Enough said on that one.

There you have it. 5 simple and easy steps which will prevent you from making an absolute fool of yourself and if you can’t follow these then I’d say maybe have a fresh start in the New Year including a new job.